My Thoughts Recently

Okay! So after almost two weeks with no post, I am here to collect my thoughts and also what happened to me these past few days. I had a bad week. I blew it. I was not in my element. Last night, I had a draft of what supposed to be my latest post. But before this day ends, I refused to publish it.

Time check: 10.55pm, 04 Dec 2012 Seoul

I had random thoughts. I was physically tired. I wasted most of my free time and energy. I sway beyond my boundaries. I ate like a pig (harhar). I was reacting differently. I responded through my feelings and emotions. However, the good news is I know the reasons behind these and I don’t have to blame anyone for this. I had a poor choice. I had several choices to choose from but I chose the least best for me. Prior to that week, I was exhausting myself to meet all the tasks I have set to myself. I told myself that I needed to take things slow. It was a good idea but I took in it the wrong way. So everytime I hit my bed at night, I just spend my spare time checking my facebook and watching stuffs on Youtube. I was not productive that week  Anyway, enough of pity party. Tonight, I need to encourage myself to push through once more with perseverance. Yes, I mean it. Perseverance.

As I said before, I started blogging in early 2011. It was something I really wanted to do. I have been writing short stories since my childhood but I didn’t pursue it. I am a frustrated writer and photographer, got to admit.  I intended to take Journalism or Psychology course then but for some valid reasons, I didn’t turn into reality. However, I am still very much thankful on how my life has turned out so far. I am blessed way beyond.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

For many years, I am a prison of RIGHT NOW. I want to get things done now. Not only that, it should look attractive on my sight or else I need to re-do the whole process. The result? I have wasted a lot of time achieving things that cannot be done overnight. This can be seen in my career and relationships. Thank God because right now, I will leave that mountain.

Consistency.

As I review my life, that is one big thing that is missing. I have this ningas kugon mentality where I am fire up to start a certain project and then suddenly lose my interest. This affects both my professional and personal life. I really need to work on this or else I am doom to fail.

Why am I doing these?

There’s a freedom in that question. Why am spending time typing these words? What’s the purpose? To whom I should get acknowledgment? Nah! I must admit but my former  reason why I started this blog is because …. hmmm I DON’T KNOW! Honestly I can’t remember why or I don’t have any concrete reason at all. Was I envy? Was I only wanting to impress other people? You see, if the starting point of why we do things are vague, what follows will not create any meaning. I had to learn this hard truth. For many years, I have tried to produce goals, wants, plan, etc for myself. Until now I am still struggling to figure out what I really want in life. But what I can tell you, I WILL BE AT THAT DEFINING MOMENT SOONER OR LATER.

Time check: 09.57pm, 05 Dec 2012 Seoul

This is the second part of this post. I had to do this in two days because my brain keeps on wandering. Today, the snow fell on the ground really hard. We took some photos outside our company then we went to mart to buy some stuffs. Just few minutes ago, I browsed some blogs. I know there are other blogs out there aside from Vern Enciso lolz. I am a bit tired at the moment and I really want to accomplish today. Yes, I need to accomplish something tonight. I am certain I still have a long way to go. Im maybe on the cross roads and there’s a big need to figure things out. But for now, I won’t force things to happen. I will let it flow. I may do some mistakes in the future, but I will make sure those are bits of lesson I will carry. I don’t have to be a reflection of other people. I just need to be ME.

Till then! Anyeong