So finally, my previous post has an answer.
I want a breather and I need to put an end on this.
"Kasi, bakit ngayon ka lang ..."
"Sobrang gusto kita, but the thing is I have her ...."
All of these months, I was the one who keep assuming that he "might" like me, that he might reciprocate all the efforts I did for him and the time that I also invested. But these things are not basis to say you "really like" the person. Perhaps I just love the "idea" of having someone. I think deep enough to figure out why suddenly I kinda liked him. And yes, I was only looking for someone who will show affection to a heart that was bruised few months back. I know from the fact that he has someone already, but he kept pursuing. I know it's not right to expect anything from him, but I can't help it. Days pass and I am missing him. It hurts me if he would let the three days to one week before he will answer back my messages. Again, I shouldn't expect and also I don't have the right to demand. As a typical reaction from a woman, I would tend to pull myself from circulation to see if he would miss - but he didn't. I confined to our common friend but still that was not enough. I needed something that would let me know where I will place my self.
Then one day, I finally got the guts to do so ...
I told him that even If I say I like him, it has no basis.
I told him that even If I feel jealous, it's something I should only keep to myself.
I told him that we should be better as good friends, although deep inside there still a small part in my heart that is crying.
But, it turned out that it is him who really likes me, who regret why I didn't arrive early. He asked me if he will let me go, will everything be fine?
And here is the funny side of me.
"Wow ha! Ang guwapo mo naman! Feeling mo type kita????
No need to live this drama! I had enough. I just want to be happy.
No need to let go because I don't have anything on you.
One day, like before, anything will be clear. As of now, I would rather enjoy my friendship with you. Just like what you said, I could run to you anytime. I could be "makulit" and "madaldal" on you. You are the one who told just to be myself. I know my place definitely and I don't have any plan to be an option. I am not gonna expect any special affection from you despite of your confession. I could take advantage on that and play the evil one. However, just because someone betrayed me doesn't mean I have the license to do the same thing on others.
Until then, I am sure, Love will come when you least expect it.
I been loving this poem by Sarah and Phil Kay.
Love each words.
I knew exactly what Love looked like in 7th grade
Even though I hadn’t met Love yet, if Love had wandered into my home room I would have recognized him at first glance – Love wore a hemp necklace.
I would have recognized her at first glance – Love wore a tight French braid.
Love played acoustic guitar, and knew all my favorite Beatles’ songs.
Love wasn’t afraid to ride the bus with me.
And I knew I just must be searching the wrong class room, just must be checking the wrong hallway.
She was there, I was sure of it.
If only I could find him. 
But when Love finally showed up – she had a bull cut!
He wore the same clothes everyday for a week. >3<
Love hated the bus.
Love didn’t know anything about the Beatles.
Instead, every time I tried to kiss Love, our teeth got in the way!!!
Love became the reason I lied to my parents. I’m going to Ben’s house.
Love had terrible rhythm on the dance floor but made sure we never miss a slow song.
Love waited by the phone because she knew if her father picked up that’d be “Hello”… “Hh..” “Hello?” “Hh…” “I guess I’d hang up.”
And Love grew.
Stretched like a trampoline.
Love changed.
Love disappeared, slowly, like baby teeth.
Loosing parts of me I thought I needed.
Love vanished.
Like an amateur magician everyone could see the trapdoor but me.
Like a flat tire – there were other places I had planned on going.
But my plan didn’t matter.
Love stayed away for years.
And when Love finally reappeared, I barely recognized him.
Love smells different now, had darker eyes.
A broader back, Love came with freckles that I didn’t recognize.
New birth mark – a softer voice.
Now there were new sleeping patterns.
New favorite books.
Love had songs that reminded him of someone else.
Songs Love didn’t like to listen to, so did I.
But we found a park bench that fit us perfectly.
We found jokes that make us laugh.
And now Love makes me fresh homemade chocolate chip cookies.
(But Love will probably finish most of them for a midnight snack.)
Love looks great in lingerie but still likes to wear her retainer.
Love is a terrible driver, but a great navigator.
Love knows where she’s going, it just might take her two hours longer than she planned. :<
Love is messier now.
Love is simple.
Love uses the word boobs in front of my parents!
Love chews too loud.
Love leaves the cap off the toothpaste.
Love uses a smiley face in her text messages.
And turns out… Love shits. :]
But Love also cries;
And Love will tell you “You are beautiful”, and mean it.
Over and over again.
“You are beautiful.”
When you first wake up, “You are beautiful.”
When you’ve just been crying, “You are beautiful.”
When you don’t wanna hear it, “You are beautiful.”
When you don’t believe it, “You are beautiful.”
When nobody else will tell you, “You are beautiful.”
Love still thinks, “You are beautiful.”
But Love is not perfect and will sometimes forget.
When you need to hear it most, “You are beautiful.”
Do not forget this.
Love is not who you were expecting.
Love is not what you can predict.
Maybe Love is in New York City already asleep.
You are in California, Australia, wide awake.
Maybe Love is always in the wrong time-zone.
Maybe Love is not ready for you.
Maybe you are not ready for Love.
Maybe Love just isn’t the marrying type.
Maybe the next time you see Love is 20 years after the divorce.
Love looks older now but just as beautiful as you remember.
Maybe Love is only there for a month.
Maybe Love is there for every firework. Every birthday party. Every hospital visit.
Maybe Love stays. Maybe Love can’t. Maybe Love shouldn’t.
Love arrives exactly when Love is supposed to and Love leaves exactly when Love must.
When Love arrives, say, “Welcome. Make yourself comfortable.”
If Love leaves, ask her to leave the door open behind her.
Turn off the music. Listen to the quiet.
Whisper, “Thank you for stopping by.”
